Wedding set
Our 5 year wedding anniversary has come and gone. And the timing is perfect! For what you might ask?
To sell my wedding set. Some of you are probably gasping with horror and wondering why I would do such a thing. Well…
After we got back from our trip to Chiapas a few years ago, I started seriously thinking about my consumption patterns, materialism, heterosexism, white privilege and Audre Lorde’s writings.
I started to wonder if I could make a difference in this crazy, violent world. Particularity, in a “political system populated by a bunch of spoiled, tantrum-prone six-year-olds…”
Ahh but I digress…
L and I have both changed tremendously since our first date, seven years ago. All of these changes have been for the better and our relationship is stronger than it has ever been. So one would think that wedding rings are supposed to bring back good memories.
But when I look at my wedding set, I think about these things:
1. Materialism
My wedding set represents the old RowdyKitten — someone who was very materialistic.
2. Contention
When I look at the ring, I think about the contention the purchase caused between L and I. We could not afford the set at the time, but we bought it because I wanted the “perfect” diamond ring.
As a little girl, I dreamed about getting married in a big white dress and having a really big diamond ring too. I know, I know — those are horrible reasons. That’s why the set must go.
3. Living Large
The set symbolizes living large, rather than living simply and within our means.
4. Use
I rarely ware my wedding setting, it has been sitting in my jewelery box for at least 6 months. I do wear two diamond rings that belonged to family members. Both rings have a lot of sentimental value and represent strong, healthy relationships. One of the rings belonged to my Grandmother.
The photo, of my Grandparents, was taken around 1930. They were married for over 65 years.
5. Money
The money we obtain from the sale of the set can be used for a tiny house or set aside in our rainy day fund.
6. The lesson of a lifetime
Diamonds may last forever, but they don’t have anything to do with successful relationships or happiness.
As a side note, the Cage Free Family inspired me write this post, click here and here to read about their love story.
Update
We still have our wedding rings. Unfortunately we haven’t found a place to put them on consignment and are still waiting for the gold market to rebound.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
That’s awesome! I applaud your efforts. It’s so hard to break oneself of consumerism… I can easily give up some things, but I still cling to my TV and go crazy over new shoes. I’m trying really hard to get to the zen that you have!
Thanks Karl! Don’t be too hard on yourself — it is so difficult to break out of the consumerism. Especially, when we see so many ads everyday.
I still have my pitfalls. For instance, I bought a SleepyPod – http://sleepypod.com/ – for my cats. Now that was an unnecessary purchase.
Thank you for reading RowdyKittens!
yeah Tammy! Good bye old wedding ring and old life. It is funny for me to read how you describe yourself in the past. Five years ago I would not have described you that way (materialistic, living large). Even how you seemed on the outside, on the inside you are an awesome person and I felt like I could see that side of you so much more easily, because you have always been an easy person to like. I like to think that as we grow we become closer to our “true selves”
Good luck, I hope you get a fair amount towards your tiny home!
Thanks – I hope so too. If we can get more funds for our tiny home, that would be great. Although, I don’t know how much I will get for the diamond set. Diamonds are fairly common stones, so the resale value isn’t very high.
I wish I could have seen the light 5 years ago, but it is better late than never.
Oh, I am so glad to have found this post. I, too, am selling my wedding set after 20 years of marriage. Why? Well, 1) I never liked it (!)…my soon-to-be husband argued with me in the store about what I would have and I gave in (not my normal personality) and 2) I haven’t worn it since I got pregnant with our first child 6 months after we got married, and 3) it represents a time when both of us were busy trying to please others instead of working togethers. So for 19 years, I’ve been wearing a simple gold band all these years and the little engagement ring and wedding ring have been in the jewelry box. What a waste! Oh, we’ll probably only get $50, but that $50 will help us whittle down our debt that much faster. Glad to know we’re not the only ones.
@Erin – You aren’t alone! We are still trying to find a buyer for the set. I didn’t think it would be so hard. I’m going to check out some shops this weekend. Since the price of gold is high, I think we might get more money for the rings. I’d love to put it toward our tiny home.