Since my step-dad, Mahlon, came home on Friday I’ve had a lot of questions running through my head. Questions like: Will he recover from his stroke? His physical body is here, but where is his mind? How are we going to navigate all the costs associated with caregiving? And how is my mom going to find the time to take care of herself?

As I’ve been thinking about these questions, I’ve been reading a book by Robert Lelux called The Living End. It’s an incredible memoir about his grandmother’s decent into Alzheimer’s. It’s full of humor, hope, and a reminder that you can find a silver lining in very sad situations. As I was reading last night, one of Lelux’s analogies stuck with me. He said, “I felt rode hard and put up wet from the sheer panic and pressures of the past several weeks.” That single sentence sums up how I’ve been feeling for the last few weeks. I’m tired, scared, and I want answers to questions I mentioned above.

I believe taking care of others is a kind and compassionate act, but it’s also stressful and tiring. I feel really bad for leaving my mom and going back to Portland. I know she will be okay and that she’s not alone. For example, we’ve hired a few caregivers to come into the house and help take care of my dad and my step-sister is only 45 minutes from the house. Plus, I’ll be spending a week out of every month in Red Bluff helping out too.

I want to control the outcome of my dad’s healing process, but I know I can’t. So I keep coming back to a small, but powerful piece of advice from my friend Chris. A few months ago he said, “You can’t control the situation but you can control your reaction. Just be love.”

How are you going to show love today?

Be well,
Tammy

On February 1st, I wrote a note to email subscribers about my bad knee. I said:

“My dad’s stroke prompted me to examine how I treat my body. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been reevaluating the type of foods I eat, my exercise habits, and the amount of rest I’m incorporating into my schedule. In short, I’m taking a hard look at my health. For example, I’ve been dealing with pain in my left knee for the last four years. It’s been annoying, but not debilitating. It all started right after I ran my first marathon. I didn’t give myself enough time to recover after the race and injured my knee. As I told my physical therapist, ‘I’ve successfully ignored my knee pain for the last four years.’

I can’t ignore the issue anymore. Over the last six months, it’s been waking me up at night throbbing and the pain has gotten worse over the last month. After asking me lots of questions, my physical therapist diagnosed me with bursitis. Then we talked about treatment options, which include exercises I’m going to do at home.”

On Monday the 13th, I went back to my physical therapist and he banned me from my bike for another two-weeks. I won’t lie, not being able to ride my bike sucks. As I told a friend recently, “I didn’t realize how much cycling I was doing until I had to stop. I really miss the exercise.”

I’m bound to public transit for now and I know that’s for the best. I’d rather take a month or two off the bike, instead of being in pain for next 20 years. This experience has helped me refocus and find a little more balance in my life.

Below is a list of a few things I’ve noticed during my transition away from two wheels.

1. Taking my body for granted isn’t smart.

I should have listened to my body 4 years ago when my knee started acting up. I can’t change the past. However, I can change how I behave in the present moment and in the future.  I only get one body and I don’t want to wear it out too quickly. So I’m going to follow my physical therapists suggestions, which include getting enough rest and doing low impact exercises, like walking and swimming.

2. Take advantage of public transit.

The City of Portland has an amazing public transit system. For $24 a week, I can ride the bus, the MAX and the street car throughout the city. Plus, the bus drivers and riders are incredibly friendly; 90 percent of the people who get off the bus say thank you to the bus driver. Yesterday, I almost missed the bus and was running a block to catch it and someone held it for me. And they didn’t even get on the bus! People are incredibly kind; it’s just a matter of noticing.

3. Asking for help is part of life.

For a long time I didn’t ride the bus because I thought I could do everything myself. And that meant riding my bike when I was sick and injured. I tend to be very stubborn and don’t ask for help as much as I should. Riding the bus is just another way of asking for help.

4. The time to reflect on life is a gift.

Riding the bus gives me time; time to reflect, relax, and people watch. For me, the bus moves at a slower pace than the bike. I know that seems counter intuitive. But when I’m riding my bike, I’m operating a vehicle and have to pay attention to the road. Whereas when I ride the bus, I can read, gaze out the window or people watch. It’s been a lot of fun to see the City of Portland in a new way.

Micro-action: Do you have health care needs that you’ve put off? What can you do today to start taking better care of your body?

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I don’t check my blog statistics often, but Logan does because he’s curious; curious about where my blog traffic is coming from and who is linking to RowdyKittens. Last night, he told me that my post on loneliness is one of the most visited articles on the blog. Interestingly, I’ve been thinking about this topic for the last few days because I’m worried about my mom.

Ever since my dad had a stroke she’s been feeling lonely and worried. Currently, my dad is still in a rehab center and my mom is all alone in a 2,000 square-foot house. She has her crazy puppy to keep her company, a part-time job, and friends, but I still worry. As she recently said on the phone, “It feels weird being alone in the house without Mahlon. It’s so empty.”

Ever since the stroke happened, I’ve been feeling worried and a little lonely too. I’m grateful that my dad is still here. However, he’s not the same. My dad is still disoriented and confused, so it’s going to be a while before I can carry on a conversation with him. The recovery process is going to be long and slow.

Rather than focus on my worries, I’ve been doing things like swimming, working, and spending time outside taking photos. Engaging in activities that I love make me feel less lonely.

If you’re looking for ways to overcome loneliness, check out these helpful tips from the folks on Google+:

“First & foremost- PETS! Otherwise, if I want human interaction with non-relatives, I blog. For me, it’s been the easiest way to meet like-minded people.” -Megyn S-H

“Be comfortable in your own skin. Meditate. See being alone as bliss, not suffering.” -Ando Perez

“Loneliness is a feeling, so I let the feeling be and do what it does. Sometimes it hangs around for a while, and sometimes not. Trying to push it away or figure it out feeds it.” -Henri Junttila

“I’m not sure you can overcome it, but you can be aware. Countless people have been confounded by this for as long as we can remember. The real issue is when you are with friends or a significant other and you still feel lonely or isolated. I think of it as a warning sign. This gives one opportunity to seek out help or make changes. It can also be a sign of depression, so treat it with the appropriate respect it deserves. Just trying to sweep it under the rug, can make it worse. Hope you’re not feeling lonely!” -Michael Simmons

“Boy is this ever timely for me! As a newly single person, the feeling of loneliness has recently reared its ugly head and has forced me to deal with a lot of things. This past weekend was particularly tough. What got me through it? Doing stuff. Keeping myself occupied. Most importantly, doing things that I ENJOY that I had been putting off for too long. Also, reaching out to loved ones. Something as simple as giving someone a call to just talk reminds you that you are never truly alone.” -Brenda S.

“I think the real trick is to figure out what triggered the loneliness. Often times what we think triggered the loneliness, is not the real cause. I know I often find that I am most lonely when I am with a friends and family. For me taking down time just for me is the only thing that lets me reset and find balance. As Ando Perez said, meditate or find your equivalent.” -David Sparkman

Micro-action: Make a list of activities that help you overcome loneliness. Keep the list in a journal or in a visible spot in your house. Return to your list if you start feeling lonely.

“Our visual field, the entire view of what we can see when we look out into the world, is divided into billions of tiny spots or pixels.” ~Jill Bolte Taylor, My Stroke of Insight

As I drove from Chico to Red Bluff a few nights ago, I tried to clear my mind of worry and focus on the road and the scenes around me. The sky was filled with twenty shades of pink and purple; to my right there were fields that stretched as far as I could see with cows munching on grass and groves of olive trees. The mountains seemed to be bogged down with light gray clouds and when I entered the City of Corning, I stopped by the Petro gas station to look at the birds.

I know it sounds strange that I pulled over to watch birds but their behavior was so engaging I was entranced and I didn’t want to risk wrecking the car. Right above the Petro sign there were thousands of birds circling in the sky. They reminded me of tumbleweeds blowing in the wind. It seemed like they were caught in a big loop, circling up and down and then up again.

As I watched the birds, I kept thinking about Jill Bolte Taylor’s explanation of pixels and how visual images are “built by our brain’s ability to package groups of pixels together in the form of edges.” In her book, My Stroke of Insight, she goes on to say:

“Each pixel is filled with atoms and molecules that are in vibration. The retinal cells in the back of our eyes detect the movement of those atomic particles. Atoms vibrating at different frequencies emit different wavelengths of energy, and this information is eventually coded as different colors by the visual cortex in the occipital region of our brain.”

My little iPhone camera didn’t capture the birds very well but if you look really closely you’ll see little black dots in the photo above.

As you begin your weekend pay attention to the details, to the tiny pixels in your world. Notice the depth, color, and motion of what you see.

And while you’re at it watch My Stroke of Insight and Murmuration.

Recently, a reader told me via email that “simplicity has gone mainstream,” so there is no need to discuss the topic. I don’t agree with that assertion. Sure, the topic of downsizing and stuff is addressed in the media. But that message is usually viewed as “extreme” and typically flanked by commercials prompting you to buy more stuff.

The majority of people, corporations, and the government aren’t proponents of “simple living.” All you have to do is look at our economic model to see that isn’t the case. At the policy level, we’re more obsessed with growth, rather than well-being. Put another way, our culture is so focused on “more” we never ask: “what is enough?”

And that’s why it’s important to keep talking about stuff. For the sake of our health and the future of our planet, we’ve got to rethink our model of “more is better.”

Let’s examine two problem areas, advertising and waste:

Advertising is part of our cultural identity. In Branded Nation, James Twitchell says, “Much of our shared knowledge about ourselves and our culture comes to us through a commercial process of storytelling called branding.”

Advertising has bombarded people with so many messages about products that “ten percent of a two-year-old’s nouns are brand names.” No wonder so many Americans are depressed and in debt. From an early age, we’re taught that stuff will make us happy. But happiness research shows us that’s not the case. Our human needs for community and strong personal relationships can’t be bought.

Richard Layard, an economist, talks about this issue in his book, Happiness. He says, “The current pursuit of self-realization will not work. If your sole duty is to achieve the best for yourself, life becomes just too stressful, too lonely – you are set up to fail.” He goes onto say that it is “a deep fallacy of many economists to think of human interaction as mainly a means to an end, rather than also an end in itself.”

Second, analyzing consumption and waste at both the individual and societal level is important because our landfills are overflowing with consumer waste, leaching toxins into the landbase.

Let’s take a look at a few statistics, from The Story of Stuff.

• Industries (like steel, glass, concrete, food processing, textiles, plastics, chemical manufacturing, and water treatment, etc.) waste prolifically. These industries generate between 7.6 to 13 billion tons of waste per year.

• Each day in the United States, we use more than 150 million single-use containers for beverages, plus another 320 million takeout cups.

• About 400 million electronic products are chucked in the United States each year. In 2005, it amounted to 4 billion pounds of e-waste . . . And rather than segregating and handling it carefully and responsibly, we still dump 85 percent of our e-waste in landfills.

• The Basel Action Network revealed that about 80 percent of e-waste is exported overseas to developing countries, where much is simply dumped.

These statistics show the urgent need for real policy solutions, particularly, when it comes to the extraction, production, distribution, consumption, and disposal of stuff. And as Layard argues, we need to consider the issue of well-being and community building, not just the constant accumulation of stuff. The U.S. is one of the wealthiest nations on the planet. We have enough, yet we aren’t happy because we still want more.

One of my favorite writers, Derrick Jensen, says that writing alone won’t change the world. And he’s right on target. Writing is one way to shift perspectives. But any type of long-term change must be paired with activism and that’s a good thing because helping others makes people happy. However, becoming active requires getting off couch and disconnecting from screens.

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Micro-actions: If you’re overwhelmed by stuff, read the following books and watch a few films:

• Minimalist Freedom by Nina Yau

• Head over to Minimalist Adventures and get a copy of Conquer The Clutter by Dusti Arab

• If you want to learn more, check out The Story of Stuff from your local library.

• Watch the films on The Story of Stuff website.

• Read: Our Great Sin

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Note: Statistics are from The Story of Stuff

Everyday I walk to yoga and pass by our neighborhood Starbucks. As I was strolling by last week, I happened to look in the window. There were about 5 kids sitting at the counter, sipping hot beverages, and watching people pass by. The kids were probably 7 or 8 years old and they were super cute.

The moment I looked up all of the kids waived at me and smiled, in unison. It looked like there was a supervising adult with the kids. As soon as she saw the kids smiling and waving she started laughing and smiling too. Before I knew it I had a huge goofy grin on my face.

The kids started a cascade of smiling!

This was a small moment that lasted for about 10 seconds. But those short seconds reminded me that smiling is a powerful act. Before the kids smiled at me, I was in my own little world thinking about writing and the upcoming week. All this thinking and worrying made me feel stressed out and overwhelmed.

Generally, when I take short or longs walks I try and be in the moment, smile, and notice the details, like all the brilliant fall colors. However, on this day I wasn’t present. I was imagining the future and thinking about the past. The kids in Starbucks reminded me to slow down, enjoy the present moment, and to smile more often.

So what does research tell us about smiling?

Decades of research has established that smiling and laughter boost our well-being, reduce anxiety and stress, and enable us to cope with good and bad situations.

Interestingly, research has shown that facial expressions can influence your emotions. For instance, the act of smiling can make you happier, even if it’s a fake smile. In The How of Happiness, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky discussed a number of fascinating studies about smiling. One study showed that “mothers who express positive emotions have infants who begin to express positive emotions as well.”

Other studies have shown that “the facial changes involved in smiling have direct effects on certain brain activities associated with happiness.”

So just do it. Start smiling and laughing more. By acting like you’re more optimistic and outgoing, you’ll be able to manage stress and become a happier person.

Micro-actions: Read The How of Happiness and The Politics of Happiness – A Manifesto.

Research has documented the many positive effects yoga has on an individual’s emotional and physical health. More specifically, individuals who practice yoga are more likely to experience a greater sense of happiness and well-being. Plus, the practice is challenging, fun, and a fantastic exercise.

So what is yoga?

Yoga refers to…

“traditional physical and mental disciplines that originated in India. The word is associated with meditative practices in Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism. Within Hinduism, it also refers to one of the six orthodox schools of Hindu philosophy, and to the goal towards which that school directs its practices. In Jainism, yoga is the sum total of all activities — mental, verbal and physical.”

The definition above is based on the history of yoga. But it doesn’t tell us how real people feel about the practice.

By practicing yoga you’ll learn a series of postures that will help you stretch and exert your body. While you’re doing these postures you focus on your breath. Focusing on your breath will allow you to go deeper into your pose and cultivate a meditative state.

An inmate at Coffee Creek describes yoga as:

“This is the most fantastic way to begin to awaken to our body, mind, and feelings. To relax and get real. This class has a played a major role in my desire to change my life and create healthy habits.”

Living Yoga

Since I’ve been Living in Portland, I’ve been volunteering at an organization called Living Yoga.

Living Yoga is a non-profit outreach program “teaching yoga as a tool for personal change in prisons, drug and alcohol rehabilitation centers, transitional facilities, and to populations who would otherwise not have access to it.”

Through the practices of yoga and meditation, Living Yoga teaches skills like, mindfulness, impulse control, emotional regulation, and more. The programs aim to “motivate and encourage students to utilize these skills in their lives outside of the classroom…to bring more awareness to their actions and the consequences of their actions, to make decisions based on short and long term outcomes, and to, daily, create an internal emotional state of ease, acceptance and accountability.”

The organization is volunteer driven and only has two paid staff members! They do amazing work in the Portland community and illustrate how you can change the world by doing yoga.

My experience with yoga.

Happiness. Joy. Silence. Beauty. Stillness. Strength. Confidence. Breath. Karma.

When I think about yoga all of these words come into my mind, especially the word karma. Karma literally means “to do.” And Karma yoga relies heavily on action. Yoga is not only a way to exercise my body but it’s also a life philosophy. It’s about being in service to others and doing good deeds. And I can’t give back if I’m stressed out, unhealthy, or unhappy.

For me, yoga is a form of active meditation. While practicing, I’m able to work out all the kinks in my mind and body. For example, practicing yoga gives me the extra energy to keep volunteering in my community and be more kind, loving, and patient with friends and family members.

If you can’t afford to practice yoga at a studio, practice on your own. All you need is a yoga mat and comfortable clothing. A yoga mat is important because it will prevent your bare feet from slipping on the floor.

Remember, you don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars a year on yoga stuff to reap the physical and emotional benefits of the practice.

Get Involved!

If you’re passionate about social justice issues, do something!

Consider donating to Living Yoga or creating a similar organization in your community. Yoga has the power to change the world by helping people become more mindful and aware of their choices.

“The best runner leaves no tracks.” ~Tao Te Ching

I don’t think we can find work we love, connect with community, or have fun if our health is in shambles. Living a simpler life has given me the opportunity and time to focus on improving my physical health. We only get one body and one mind. Taking care of both are key ingredients to health and happiness.

Are you looking for inspiration to get your move on? Then this article is for you. I hope the tips below will inspire you to lace up your shoes and go for a run.

1. Start slow.

So many of us rush everywhere. I keep wondering what the big hurry is. Going slow isn’t a bad thing. Especially if you are new to running. If you want to get up off the couch and go for a run, don’t do a 10 mile loop you’re first time out. Start with a half mile or mile and slowly increase your mileage over time.

For instance, I’ve been running for the last few years and just started running consistently again. But I’m not going fast. I’m taking my time, building up my mileage slowly, and listening to my body.

2. Incorporate yoga into your routine.

Setting aside 10 minutes, before and after your run, to practice yoga will loosen up your muscles and help you warm up (along with cooling down).

Long time readers know that I’m a huge fan of yoga. By incorporating yoga into a daily routine you’ll feel 20 times better. And you don’t have to practice yoga for hours everyday to get feel better, stronger, and less stressed.

3. Set a few goals.

Setting a goal is helpful, but don’t let that goal consume you. For example, you might want to run a marathon in 4 hours. It’s okay if you don’t meet that time. Something to strive for while training is a good thing, but it’s not the end of the world if you don’t meet a specific goal. At least, you aren’t sitting in front of the TV or surfing the internet.

4. Be present.

Running with music isn’t a bad thing. However, it’s worth leaving your iPod at home once in a while. See how you feel on you’re runs without music or podcasts.

I used to consistently plug into my iPod and run through the park. But ever since we moved to Portland I’ve been walking (and now running) without any music. I feel more in tune with my body, pay attention to my running form, and actually notice the birds chirping.

5. What about shoes?

A few months ago I purchased a pair of Vibram Fivefingers and I absolutely love them. I resisted buying these weird looking shoes for a long time because they are expensive and trendy. But after trying on over 5 pairs of running shoes and not finding anything that fit my feet, Logan suggested the Vibram’s. I absolutely love them. (And they only cost me $11.00 thanks to REI coupons and rebates).

I haven’t started running in my Vibram’s yet, but I’ve been biking, walking, and puttering around in the house with them. I don’t think shoes are bad. But now that I’m walking around in my Vibram’s I’ve been much more aware of my posture, balance, and where my feet land on the concrete. In essence, I feel more connected to my surroundings.

I highly recommend looking into Vibram’s. Remember to slowly incorporate these shoes into your routine. Leo, from Zen Habits, pointed out:

“When you first start running barefoot, your feet will be weak, so take it very slowly at first. It takes weeks and months to build up the strength necessary for faster or longer running, but after awhile, your feet get stronger than ever before. There are numerous studies still being done on this, so don’t draw any long-term conclusions yet. My thinking is to give it a try, and see how it works.”

I agree! Give it a try and see how you feel.

6. Wear simple clothes.

Running doesn’t require expensive clothes or fancy gear. Run in clothing that you’re comfortable in. More than likely you have what you need in your closet.

7. Listen to your body.

In December 2008, I ran my first marathon and it was an incredible experience. However, since I was a rookie runner my post-marathon experience was rough. I ended up hurting myself and for the last year I’ve struggled with a variety of injuries.

Pay attention to your aches and pains. If you don’t take it slow and listen to your body, you’ll end up on the side lines. And that isn’t fun.

8. You were born to run.

“Children run before they can walk.” ~Tarahumara saying

I recently finished an amazing book called Born to Run. The book explored the life and running habits of the Tarahumara Indians of Mexico’s Copper Canyon; some of the best distance runners in the world.

After reading McDougall’s story I realized we really are born to run. Think back to when you were 5 years old and running and jumping all over the playground. What happened to that little kid? When did so many adults forget the joy of running? Running doesn’t have to hurt. It’s a beautiful art and a wonderful way to balance your physical and emotional health.

Lace up your shoes. Head out the door and start running.

Resources

With the change in season, running is an activity many people are writing about. Be sure to read these remarkable articles and books:

• 12 Lessons for Life from My First Marathon

• The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Barefoot Running

• A Beginner’s Guide to Trail Running

• How to Run Barefoot

• Born to Run – an amazing, inspiring and beautiful story about the Tarahumara Indians of Mexico’s Copper Canyons. Topics covered include health, science, the shoe industry, and more. Read this book.

Note: This ebook is no longer available in a PDF version. However you can read it on Issuu.

Since the release of Simply Car-free, I’ve received an incredible number of emails from folks asking questions like:

How can I improve my health?
What are the best ways to lose weight?
Where can I find real food?

In response to the questions I’ve received, I decided to write my first free e-book. The book is 20 pages and I hope it will help you get active.

You only get one body and mind. If you don’t take care of both, it’s hard to create amazing art or get involved in your community. I hope this manifesto will help you improve your health and inspire you to change the world.

If this e-book helps you, please help spread the word by…

• Sharing it with your tribe on Twitter or Facebook.
• Writing about it on your blog.
• Printing out copies and leaving them in your local library or coffee shop.

Please let me know what you think. Feel free to connect with me on twitter.

One of the best things about blogging is meeting other people with similar interests and making new friends. Jessica has been reading RowdyKittens for a while and I’m thrilled she agreed to write a guest post about her barefoot running adventures. Jessica is a writer, photographer and blogs at chesapeake.

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by Jessica Porter

I used to think that some people were made to run more than others. That marathons were for super-humans with a penchant for pain. Besides, I always looked funny running. I thus left the task of traveling great distances by foot to those better equipped for it.

At least I thought that until my mom, also a non-runner, gave me Born to Run, a book written by Chris McDougall. Chris is a journalist and amateur runner who was interested in answering the question of why he was constantly getting injured while running.  He found the answer in the form of history: all of us were literally born to run as we are. And we were born to run barefoot.

I was skeptical at first. Running shoes are made for running, how can they be bad? Everyone wears them! But by the end of the book, I was convinced: our feet are magnificent works of engineering evolution.  Did you know that the running shoe industry is one of the only industries in history that created a product we “needed?” The product and the market is completely manufactured by the man who invented the product. And that there are zero scientific studies to show that running shoes enhance athletic performance and decrease injury? It’s true. But there are many studies showing that running shoes make our bodies work unnecessarily harder and make us exponentially more prone to injury.

Not only was barefoot running supposed to be more efficient, it was supposed to be more fun. I knew that if any one could disprove the “fun” theory, it would be me. It turns out, I didn’t. A quarter of a mile into my maiden barefoot voyage, I realized that my face felt odd. I was smiling.  Smiling while running. I can say, without a doubt, that it was the first time that I had ever smiled while doing exercise of any kind. My breathing was easy, my form was upright, and I was having fun.  By the end of my first week, I was running eight tenths of a mile at a time. It may not sound like much, but for someone who never exercises, it was.

There was one glitch: I ran so much, so soon, that I injured myself. The great thing about barefoot running is that it allows you to be highly attuned to the signals of your body. The bad thing about a life spent ignoring said pain while exercising means that I wasn’t used to listening to my body.  The best advice I have is start slow. Take off your shoes and walk around the house barefoot for a few weeks. Mix it up by walking in grass, gravel, and over concrete to get your feet used to different surfaces. Let your foot muscles build up over time.

Patience is absolutely key. Once you are ready to run, study up on proper form. There is one site in particular with great information on this, or if you live in the Seattle area, look up Barefoot Ted for a coaching session. Remember not to increase your running mileage too quickly, either. Listen to your body. If it hurts, stop and adjust your form. Take rest days. It’s like learning to walk again.

Push past the fear, toss the shoes, and do it.  You were made for it.

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