When Your Marriage (and Cat) Turn 17-Years-Old

The specifics of my fight with Logan are unclear. I remember that it revolved around him working too many hours on my birthday. At the time, we’d been married for about 5 months. Logan was in a Ph.D. program, and I was working in the investment management industry.

The day after our fight, I went to work and called a friend at lunch to talk. During our conversation, the idea of adopting a cat came up. Starting my new year with a fuzzy friend seemed like a great idea.

I should point out that I didn’t talk to Logan about this bright idea because I was still upset after our argument. This wasn’t smart, but the kitten adoption mission was set in motion.

Before we got off the phone, my girlfriend said she would research local adopt-a-cat organizations. Later in the day, she contacted me and said that she found a family who was fostering kittens near my office. I was beyond excited!

After I finished my work day, we went to play with the kittens. Christie, a small Tortoiseshell kitten, was the only baby in the litter who engaged with us. She was about 5 months old, a little skittish, beautiful, and sweet. I fell in love with Christie, and she came home with me that evening.

When I got home, I brought Christie inside. She was in a cat carrier that I put in the hallway. Then I walked outside to make a quick phone call.

When I came back into the apartment Logan asked, “Is there a cat in the carrier?”

“Of course!” I said.

Christie was scared, so she burrowed under the blankets in the back of the carrier. Logan couldn’t see Christie, so he assumed there was no way I’d bring a kitten home without his consent. He was wrong and a little upset with me.

We finally coaxed Christie out of the carrier and she sat with us on the couch and relaxed. Over the next few weeks, she settled into life with us. I’m thankful that Logan fell in love with Christie; especially since I brought her home without warning.

At 23-years-old, I lacked emotional intelligence, and I’d argue, common sense. We joke that Christie is the cat who almost caused a divorce. It’s a good thing she’s cute, and that Logan has patience with me.

***

As I write this letter, COVID-19 cases continue to rise in the U.S. I’m angry, sad, and disappointed that the pandemic has been politicized. A few things that keep me calm include kettlebell workouts, long talks with Logan, and snuggles with Christie.

Christie looks at me with a funny expression when I want to scream or cry because of the bad news I've consumed. She reminds me to breathe, take naps, and to relax. Christie is also happy we’re home all the time. She continues to boss us around with her cute meows and tail vibrations.

Christie will be 17-years-old in a few days, and Logan and I will celebrate a milestone — 17 years of marriage. It’s crazy to think we’ve been together for so long. And, I’m thankful we've been good quarantine buddies. There have been no fights. Just snuggles and gratitude.

With gratitude,

Tammy

A Talisman for Paris

Yesterday, I walked to the post office to mail a note to my friend Shanna, and while I was there, I decided to check my P.O. Box. When I opened my box, there was a small silver package tucked inside, and I chuckled when I saw that the package was from Shanna. Talk about serendipity! We're definitely on the same wavelength.

When I opened the package, I didn’t see anything inside, so I sent Shanna a photo of the parcel via text message and said:

Hi friend! Just went to the post office to mail you a card & found a package from you. There was nothing in it? Xoxo. 

My intuition was screaming—do not throw this little package away. Dig deeper.

Shanna wrote me back immediately and a text message exchange ensued.

The mailer was double folded, and the gift was tucked inside tightly. I’m glad that I didn’t throw the package away because I would have been sad.

The parcel contained a lovely note and gorgeous necklace with a tiny Eiffel Tower encased in glass. Shanna told me to think of the necklace as a “. . . talisman, a good luck charm, a portent of things to come."

As I read Shanna’s note I started to happy-cry in the post office, and the tears continued to flow in the local drug store (I had to swing by for 3x5 cards). My tears garnered funny looks from fellow patrons, and that’s okay. They didn’t know about my thoughtful friend.

Physical gifts are lovely, but they aren’t a required part of friendship. Strong listening skills, compassion, and empathy are must haves—and Shanna has all of those things and more. She sees me, and still wants to be my friend.

In The Kindness Diaries Leon Logothetis said, "We just have to be willing to see each other. I see you, and you see me. Then the masks of who we think we should be fall away. And we greet one another in ways that need no language, that require no masks. We set out on the journey of life, getting to partake in this brief but beautiful adventure together."

With gratitude,

Tammy