When Your Marriage (and Cat) Turn 17-Years-Old

The specifics of my fight with Logan are unclear. I remember that it revolved around him working too many hours on my birthday. At the time, we’d been married for about 5 months. Logan was in a Ph.D. program, and I was working in the investment management industry.

The day after our fight, I went to work and called a friend at lunch to talk. During our conversation, the idea of adopting a cat came up. Starting my new year with a fuzzy friend seemed like a great idea.

I should point out that I didn’t talk to Logan about this bright idea because I was still upset after our argument. This wasn’t smart, but the kitten adoption mission was set in motion.

Before we got off the phone, my girlfriend said she would research local adopt-a-cat organizations. Later in the day, she contacted me and said that she found a family who was fostering kittens near my office. I was beyond excited!

After I finished my work day, we went to play with the kittens. Christie, a small Tortoiseshell kitten, was the only baby in the litter who engaged with us. She was about 5 months old, a little skittish, beautiful, and sweet. I fell in love with Christie, and she came home with me that evening.

When I got home, I brought Christie inside. She was in a cat carrier that I put in the hallway. Then I walked outside to make a quick phone call.

When I came back into the apartment Logan asked, “Is there a cat in the carrier?”

“Of course!” I said.

Christie was scared, so she burrowed under the blankets in the back of the carrier. Logan couldn’t see Christie, so he assumed there was no way I’d bring a kitten home without his consent. He was wrong and a little upset with me.

We finally coaxed Christie out of the carrier and she sat with us on the couch and relaxed. Over the next few weeks, she settled into life with us. I’m thankful that Logan fell in love with Christie; especially since I brought her home without warning.

At 23-years-old, I lacked emotional intelligence, and I’d argue, common sense. We joke that Christie is the cat who almost caused a divorce. It’s a good thing she’s cute, and that Logan has patience with me.

***

As I write this letter, COVID-19 cases continue to rise in the U.S. I’m angry, sad, and disappointed that the pandemic has been politicized. A few things that keep me calm include kettlebell workouts, long talks with Logan, and snuggles with Christie.

Christie looks at me with a funny expression when I want to scream or cry because of the bad news I've consumed. She reminds me to breathe, take naps, and to relax. Christie is also happy we’re home all the time. She continues to boss us around with her cute meows and tail vibrations.

Christie will be 17-years-old in a few days, and Logan and I will celebrate a milestone — 17 years of marriage. It’s crazy to think we’ve been together for so long. And, I’m thankful we've been good quarantine buddies. There have been no fights. Just snuggles and gratitude.

With gratitude,

Tammy

Coffee: A Joyful Toolkit for Hard Times

When life is stressful, I try to savor tiny moments of joy. And something that brings me an incredible amount of joy is making coffee every morning. It’s also a joy that I shared with my step-dad Mahlon. I blame him for getting me hooked on this tasty beverage.

Since coffee brings me joy, and infuses creativity and calm into my life, I thought it would be fun to share the tools I use to make the perfect cup of coffee. Today’s letter is lighthearted, and hopefully a fun read for fellow coffee lovers!

With that, here's a list of what’s in my coffee making toolkit:

Coffee!

Freshly roasted—and fair trade—coffee is a must have in our kitchen. I love Coava Coffee, Northbound Coffee, and Temple Coffee. Light roasts with chocolate and almond flavors are my favorites. I was a big fan of adding cream to my coffee. Now that I know how to make a good cup of coffee, I drink it black.

Zassenhaus Coffee Mill

We’ve had the Zassenhaus Coffee Mill for roughly 8 years, and it’s one of my favorite purchases. It’s sturdy, cute, and we haven’t had any problems with the mill. Hand-grinding freshly roasted coffee beans with this little mill is pure joy!

Brewing Tools: Scale, Filter & CHEMEX®

After the COVID-19 crisis began, we purchased new tools to make coffee at home because our daily brew was either too strong or too weak, and that had to change. We bought a Six Cup Glass Handle CHEMEX® and a Coava Cone Filter. We also purchased a refurbished scale on e-Bay. The scale is a game changer because I'm able to consistently measure our coffee grounds and water accurately. The result is a perfect cup of home brewed coffee. We follow this brew guide for optimal results.

Popular Brew Methods

Brew guides for many popular brewing methods can be found here. I recommend checking them out!

Parting Words

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the magnitude of the COVID-19 crisis. People have lost loved ones, jobs, and are struggling to adjust to our new normal. Life is tough for many folks. Yet, it is possible to create small moments of joy in everyday life. For me, that includes creating the perfect cup of coffee at home.

Important Note

I’m not an affiliate for any of the products or companies I mentioned above. I shared these tools because they are useful in my daily life. If you decide to purchase a coffee making kit, do your research. For example, you can find used and refurbished scales, coffee pots, and more online.

Good Links

+ My love for coffee goes deep; so deep that I spent over 5 years taking coffee themed photos. If you’re a new subscriber, read my post—On Endings & Beginnings. It describes my long running (and now retired) photography project. You can also read my short book—My Morning View: An iPhone Photography Project about Gratitude, Grief & Good Coffee (print or e-book).

+ Beach Read by Emily Henry is a lighthearted novel about two writers. If you're looking for a good love story, I recommend this book. And if you're a writer, you'll find a few helpful writing tips in the novel.

+ A few weeks ago, I read an advance copy of my friend Cait Flanders' new book—Adventures in Opting Out—and I adored it.

+ Looking for more good reads? Check out my Bookshop page.

With gratitude,

Tammy

Notes on Newsletters

Recently, I've received a few questions on the topic of starting a newsletter. Today, I thought it would be helpful to do a Q & A on this topic. If you aren't interested in starting a newsletter, that's okay! You'll find my list of good reads and listens at the end of this letter.

With that, let’s dive in!

Here’s the question:

“Tammy, I always wanted to start my own newsletter or blog, but I just never got around to put it down on paper. I want to write about health and personal finance because those things make me happy and I know there’s a lot of people that can benefit from what I’ve learned over the years about those subjects. Do you have any suggestions for me?”

— Jorge

Here’s my response:

Jorge,

I love that you want to start sharing your story with readers! As an avid reader, I enjoy reading newsletters and books because they don’t involve scrolling. Plus, this type of reading is usually distraction free and inspiring.

Below you'll find suggestions on how to start a newsletter. The suggestions are based on my experience. Feel free to follow my advice, discard it, or pick and choose the tips that work best for you.

With that, here are my suggestions …

— Getting started can be the hardest part of any writing project, so commit to doing it. Deadlines help me, so I e-mail my newsletter to subscribers every Friday. You can write more or less. It depends on how much time you want to commit to your newsletter. For example, some of my writer friends send a newsletter to readers a few times a week, twice a month, or once a month. Commit to your deadline, and if you need help sticking to it, find an accountability buddy.

— Make time to write your newsletter. For instance, I work on my newsletter every morning. Typically, I brainstorm newsletter topics on Monday, then I'll write a first draft. By Wednesday, I'm ready to revise and edit. I do the final edits and formatting on Thursday, that way the newsletter is ready to go out on Friday morning.

— Choose a company that allows you to publish a newsletter with ease, and make it simple for readers to subscribe. It’s important that the company you choose allows readers to opt in and opt out of your newsletter.

— Metrics like subscriber counts and open rates can be helpful, but don’t let them become the driving force behind any writing project. Each reader is more than a number. They are real life humans, just like writers. Plus, worrying about metrics can kill the joy of writing. Write your newsletter because you enjoy it! Readers will feel that authentic joy, and they will keep coming back for more stories and advice.

The Writing …

— Carry a journal, or use an app on your smart phone, to record your writing ideas.

— Experiment with the style of your newsletter. Try short or long form newsletters, or a list format (see Austin Kleon’s newsletter archive as an example).

— Write a shitty first draft, then worry about editing the content. The number of times you edit a draft will depend on your writing style and how picky you are. For example, I typically revise my newsletter 5 to 10 times.

— Before you hit sent, read your final draft aloud. I learned this trick when I was writing my first book. My literary agent recommended this tactic because it’s an easy way to catch errors and awkward phrasing.

— Take advantage of programs like the Hemingway Editor or Grammarly. You won’t catch every typo or grammar error, and that’s okay. You can also ask a friend or a loved one to proofread your newsletter. I’m lucky because my husband always reads my newsletter before I send it out. Inevitably, he finds typos that I missed.

And that's it! I hope my advice was helpful! Keep me posted on your progress.

***

Good Links

With that, here’s a list of what I enjoyed consuming this week:

+ So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo was an excellent read. The book offered actionable tips, reminded me to check my privilege (often), and that change can occur. But first, we have to have hard conversations.

+ Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens was a lyrical, surprising, and exciting novel. I read the book in less than a day!

+ I'm halfway through Figures in a Landscape: People & Places by Paul Theroux. It's a unique collection of essays, and I'm looking forward to finishing the book this weekend.

+  If you’d like to start journaling, read my e-book—Write to Flourish: A Beginner’s Guide to Journaling. You can buy a copy here.

+ Looking for more good reads? Check out my Bookshop page.

With gratitude,

Tammy

On Love, Loss & See's Candy

Last weekend, we received sad news. Our sweet Grandma Pat passed away in her sleep. She was 96-years-old, and she was many things: classy, kind, hard-working, and humble. We knew Pat's death was coming. A few weeks ago, she opted for Hospice care. If times were normal, we could have visited Pat during the last few weeks of her life. But these aren't normal times.

I'm sad we couldn't visit Pat, and I'm feeling immense gratitude. We moved back to Northern California in September 2012 and over the past eight years we got to see Pat frequently. For example, when we lived in the same community, I occasionally took her to doctor appointments or grocery shopping.

On our adventures, I made it a point to ask Pat about her life experiences. I adored her stories! Pat grew up in Los Angeles, and as a little girl she'd sneak onto the Fox lot to watch movie's being made. I also loved Pat's stories about what it was like to live through the Great Depression and her transition from a city girl to a cattle woman. Plus, the lessons she imparted about living simply and saving money guided us to a happier life.

I shared a wisdom bomb from Pat in my journal—Everyday Adventures: Tiny Quests to Spark Your Creative Life. I thought it would be fitting to share again. Here’s what I wrote.

In late 2015, I drove my grandma-in-law, Pat, to a doctor’s appointment in Medford, Oregon. The drive from her home outside of Yreka, CA to Medford takes about one-hour. On the drive back home, we talked about a variety of topics including the healthcare system, my step-dad’s death in 2012, and what it means to live well into old age.

I asked Pat, “If you could give advice to an 18-year-old, advice that would help that person live a good life, what would you say?”

Pat offered the following:

1. Spend time with your loved ones.

2. Enjoy each moment because you never know what’s going to happen next.

3. Do the things you want to before your body or mind gives out.

No matter what your age, Pat’s advice is invaluable, and her words of wisdom are at the heart of this journal.

I will miss many things about Pat; especially our trips to See's Candy. When we did errands in Medford, OR, we always stopped at See's. Inevitably, we'd come home with a few boxes of candy. On each visit, I'd end up with chocolate on my shirt or face. Not Pat, though.

I will remember Pat in perfectly pressed white jeans, paired with a floral blouse, and jewelry and lipstick that matched. She was so classy! Just writing about Pat's style makes me want to up my wardrobe game.

Technically, Pat was my grandma-in-law, but she felt like my Grandma. And she reminded me of my Grandma Mable and Great Aunt Mamie. Both passed away shortly after I started college in 1998. If there is a heaven, I hope Pat will enjoy See's Candy with my loved ones. They never got to meet, and I suspect they would have been great friends.

We are sad Pat's gone, and we know it was her time. She is loved and is already missed.

Thank you for reading. Be safe!

With gratitude,

Tammy Strobel

10 Micro-Memoirs on Digital Minimalism, Blogger Burnout, Work & More

Happy New Year!

It feels good to write this letter because I've been struggling to get words onto the page/screen. I'd write a 1000 words, then delete all my words, then start the process all over again. Write. Delete. Write. Delete. Needless to say, the writing process hasn't been fun.

My friend Cait Flanders helped me shift my perspective. Yesterday, I read Cait's newsletter and I loved the format!

In her latest missive, Cait shared “10 updates/thoughts written in just 100 words each.” After reading her letter, I thought to myself: This would be a fun writing challenge. I'm going to "steal like an artist" and do something similar with my newsletter!

The style of Cait’s letter reminded me of Beth Ann Fennelly's book—Heating & Cooling: 52 Micro-Memoirs—and a writing exercise I did at the Paris American Academy. In our memoir workshop, we wrote mini memoirs. This style of writing provides a tiny snapshot of who you are in a very short format. It's a fun exercise!

With that, let's dive in …

100 Words on 2019

Words can't express my gratitude for 2019. I filled my year with travel, quality time with The Husband & friends, good coffee, cat snuggles, reading, and so much CrossFit. Also, Chico, CA is starting to feel like home (finally)! I did experience hard moments that were worked related, and I'm looking forward to the next phase in my professional life. In short, 2019 was full of learning opportunities and gratitude for the high and low moments.

100 Words on The Year of Food & Movement

Over the last few months, I’ve dedicated my leisure hours to cooking and moving. For example, I'm increasing my weight lifting power at the gym. We worked on 1 rep maxes recently, and I deadlifted 180 pounds and back-squatted 150 pounds (both lifts are PRs)! In addition, I've been making yummy recipes. My favorites include enchiladas, Pad Thai, and other vegetable based dishes. Meditation has also been on my mind. Currently, I’m doing a free mediation challenge (hosted on the Ten Percent Happier app). I’m over a week into the challenge, and it's been so helpful!

100 Words on Digital Minimalism

During 2018, I embraced digital minimalism. I also created new online sharing boundaries for 2019 and beyond. The changes helped start The Year of Food & Movement, read more books, and be present in my daily life. For example, I read 59 books in 2019, listened to lots of podcasts, and now I only subscribe to newsletters I love.

100 Words on Blogger Burnout

During the second half of 2019, I dealt with blogger burnout. I haven't posted words or photos on RowdyKittens.com for the past six months. I also unpublished 99% of my blog archive because it's time for a fresh start. The posts that are public are my favorites! In 2020, I'll continue writing my newsletter and sharing photos online. My biggest aim is: preventing another burnout episode.

100 Words on Work

Running my little business has been a blast, and it's time to pivot. I'm currently applying for traditional jobs and freelance opportunities. I'm not sure how my work life will transform in 2020, and the uncertainty is scary and exciting. It's hard to let go of my business, and I know it's time to experience new adventures in the work world.

100 Words on Money

Earlier this month, we met with our fiduciary for our annual investment review. We will continue to invest in Index Funds and put a portion of our savings into ESG Funds. We're excited to save more in 2020! If you're thinking about investing options, I recommend finding a fiduciary. The National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (NAPFA) is a good place to start. They consist solely of fee-only financial planners and offer guidance to consumers. Do your research, and watch out for high fees!

100 Words on Travel

We will continue to invest in experiences (not things). Most of our trips will be in Northern California, and we are planning another trip to Europe! On average, I take an airline flight once a year. It's a privilege to fly, an adventure, and flying is terrible for the environment. I'm starting to research carbon offsetting for my flights. I'm also learning as much as I can about climate change.

100 Words on Climate Change

Earlier this year, I got to see Naomi Klein speak at CSU, Chico. Her talk (and new book) filled me with worry and hope; hope that policymakers and citizens will find a way forward. Also, the following two books offered helpful solutions to mitigate climate change:

+ In Search of the Canary Tree: The Story of a Scientist, a Cypress, and a Changing World by Lauren E. Oakes

+ Kiss the Ground: How the Food You Eat Can Reverse Climate Change, Heal Your Body & Ultimately Save Our World by Josh Tickell

100 Words on Christie

Christie’s health declined in 2019. She started having seizures in late 2018 (right after Elaina died). On average, she has one seizure a month and they are terrifying to watch. They could be the result of her advanced chronic kidney disease or something else. Christie is on medication for the seizures. Also, she continues to eat her favorite “vet approved” food, Royal Canin D. I know Christie won’t be around forever and we’re savoring all her sweet cuddles.

100 Words on 2020

Gratitude, gratitude, and more gratitude. I could write the word gratitude another 97 times, but I think you get the idea. Gratitude is what I'm growing in my life. I'm excited about the year ahead, and I'm grateful that you've taken the time to read my words!

Wishing you a healthy & happy new year!

***

Good Reads & Listens

Finally, here’s a list of what I enjoyed consuming over the past few months:

Favorite Non-Fiction Books

+ Secondhand: Travels in the New Global Garage Sale by Adam Minter

+ Dopesick: Dealers, Doctors & the Drug Company that Addicted America by Beth Macy

+ The Mind of the Leader by Rasmus Hougaard and Jacqueline Carter

Favorite Memoirs

+ The Valedictorian of Being Dead by Heather Armstrong

+ Unbound: A Story of Snow & Self-Discovery by Steph Jagger

Favorite Novels

+ The Giver of Stars by JoJo Moyes

+ The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Favorite Interviews

+ The Anti-Diet with Evelyn Tribole

+ Making and Breaking Habits, Sanely with Kelly McGonigal

+ A Conversation with Cheryl Strayed & Oprah

Favorite Mini Documentary

+ Why Finland And Denmark Are Happier Than The U.S.

With gratitude,

Tammy Strobel